This Drifting Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with woeful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The laughably wooden writing? The tedious veneration of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful parade of tropes? Performances so poor they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. Except, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the restraining orders, abuse claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but dismissive egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Instead, the experience was like consuming a marketing brochure. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly breezy, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.